Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Elisabeth Moss Ex Fred Armisen Admits He's a Terrible Partner - Why a Woman Can Still Be Rejected Even If the Man Pursues Her


Fred Armisen and Elisabeth Moss - Barneys New York Unveils 2009  Holiday Window Celebrating 35 Years of SNL
Credit: Zimbio.com
Whenever I let a client know that her relationship with a man ended because it moved too fast her response is usually, "But he initiated all of it!"

This can be one of the things that makes it so hard to comprehend. She can't understand how a man goes from acting so very crazy about her, wanting to spend every waking minute with her, to...nothing.

I was reminded of this today while reading an article about Mad Men actress Elisabeth Moss and Saturday Night Live cast member Fred Armisen. For those who don't know, they married in 2009 and have since divorced.

Anyway, while on Howard Stern, Fred confessed, "I think I was a terrible husband. I think I was a terrible boyfriend. I want it all -- fast. I want to be married...the amount of girls I've lived with right away...and then somewhere around a year, two years, I get freaked out."

The reason I posted this blurb is because it's the same thing that I say about how if a woman moves too fast with a man she risks he'll change his mind. Except, this time, it's coming from a man. And, Fred isn't the only man to do this. It happens all too frequently.

Again, this is why it's up to the woman to slow the relationship down. She has to learn to say "no" when he asks to see her more than once or twice a week.

Some might argue a man could change his mind even if the relationship goes slow, but this is unlikely. This only happens if the woman pursues him. If he's chasing her and does so for approximately a year (no living together!), often times he'll propose. 

In my experience as a dating coach, a man has yet to change his mind about the woman who isn't so available. For whatever reason, it just doesn't work that way. A woman should play it safe so she isn't rejected. At a minimum, it keeps her from having to move twice.  

Until next time...

Shine like Platinum!
Vanessa
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