Because they're getting married soon, I was happy to hear that Justin initially pursued Jessica. He admitted she was hesitant to date him back in 2007. Justin said, "We met and talked. Afterward, I asked my friend if I could call and ask her out. My friend called Jessica and she said yes. So, I called her. I did it the old fashioned way. Chivalry doesn't die with the birth of the internet. If you ask a girl out, it's only right she hear your voice. I was persistent in order to get her to say yes. But I have a fair amount of tenacity and if I want something I stick to it. In the end she agreed."
Wait, I'm confused. Hadn't she already said 'yes' to his friend? What was she refusing exactly? Maybe this was Justin's way of showing he pursued her and prevailed. Anyway...
When I first read this, I thought it was so strange Justin had a friend call Jessica and ask if it was ok to call and ask her out. Maybe he thought she would reject him and it was easier to hear his friend say "she doesn't want to hear from you" than be turned down for a date. Most women I talk to in a situation like this always ask, "Why didn't he just call and ask me out himself?" I typically agree.
It reminded me of Tiger Woods and his ex-wife, Elin Nordegren. While she was a nanny, Tiger would call frequently call their home and ask to talk to her. The story goes that despite making his feelings well-known, he still couldn't muster up the courage to ask her out. So, he had a friend do it for him. Elin said, "no." According to the report, her reaction was, 'What the hell was that?'" the friend said. "She thought it was so weird and pathetic."
The reason I mention it is because during my training as a dating coach, I was taught to look at the very early stages of when a relationship begins. When Tiger cheated on Elin, a part of me wondered whether he really had to have her given he was being so strange. I mean, it didn't seem he had any problem approaching a waitress. Something just seemed off. When I read this about Justin and Jessica, I couldn't help but be reminded of the final showdown between Elin and Tiger.
Justin took a long time to propose, their relationship was rocky, and Jessica doesn't sound at all excited about wedding planning. Maybe they'll pull a "Blake and Ryan" on us and marry in Wyoming. But, the difference is that Blake and Ryan always looked super happy, were caught smooching, out for ice cream. I just don't get that same vibe from Justin and Jessica.
If you're a woman who has been asked out through a friend, you're right to think it's weird. Personally, I don't think I could go out with him because I need to know that a man will bang down a door to get me. I want him fearless and find me worth it to risk being rejected. Granted, each situation is different and should be examined on its own merit. My point is that if you found it weird, I can't say I disagree.
Until next time...
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