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| Credit: PRPhotos.com |
Taylor Swift is generally known for dressing very prim and proper. But, she ditched all of that
for her Rolling Stone cover where she just looks leggy and blonde –
love it! During the interview, she discussed her love life. Some of you
might be groaning that she’s talking about romance, but I’m glad to hear
it directly from her. Here’s an excerpt of what she said:
"The
way I look at love is you have to follow it, and fall hard, if you fall
hard. You have to forget about what everyone else thinks. It has to be
an us-against-the-world mentality. You have to make it work by
prioritizing it, and by falling in love really fast, without thinking
too hard. If I think too hard about a relationship I'll talk myself out
of it. ...I have rules for a lot of areas of my life. Love is not going
to be one of them."
There
are two points I want to make about what Taylor said. First, I realized
her outlook on love is that it’s all or nothing. She said herself that
she has to go all in or she talks herself out of it. Where’s the happy
medium? And, what’s with the “us-against-the-world-mentality?” Why must
it be a battle?
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| Credit: PRPhotos.com |
When
I stop and think about it, it’s not surprising Taylor thinks this way.
After all, she very successfully writes love songs that touch millions.
Singing about slow and steady romance doesn’t sell as well as songs about
white, hot, burning, sizzling passion. It’s one thing to write songs
this way, but entirely another to actually live it.
This
brings me to my second point about how Taylor said, “I have rules for a
lot of areas of my life. Love is not going to be one of them.” Many
women feel this way. They want to love without constraints and not play
games. Taylor does what many do which is throw caution to the wind and
let the cards fall where they may.
So,
let’s substitute another word for “rules.” I will use a more
neutral word like “boundaries.” Were Taylor to say, “I have “boundaries”
for a lot of areas in my life. Love is not going to be one of them,” it
makes Taylor sound…well…a little dysfunctional. When people think of “rules” in relationships, really it’s mostly about establishing boundaries.
To
put this even more in context, 12-Step groups encourage people to
maintain their boundaries and not be so focused on others. The same goes
when you’re in a relationship. You need not be addicted to implement
healthy boundaries in your life and maintain balance. The fact Taylor
doesn’t makes her sound like a love addict.
Herein
lies the lesson. If you have a hard time working with “rules” try
“boundaries” instead. Choose whatever word feels most palatable. Just
makes sure your actions follow.
Until next time…
Shine like Platinum!
Vanessa
Vanessa
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| Credit: PRPhotos.com |
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