Mindy Kaling Asks John Mayer for Love Advice -- Why Women Should Be Discerning about Male Opinion on Romance

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I read an article today that caught my attention. Apparently, Mindy Kaling has been asking John Mayer for love advice. The two were spotted at lunch in New York yesterday and people overheard her saying, "You have to tell me what you think, please!" Someone snarked that he's the wrong person to ask for advice. But, I don't think Mindy is any different than other women who ask their male friends their opinion on relationships.

True, John has a reputation for not being the nicest guy to the ladies. I sometimes wonder what he'd be like if he actually met a woman who could play hard-to-get. He's the way he is because women let him. A child whose parents don't set boundaries will act out. I acknowledge John's an adult man. Yet, it's well-known that a lack of boundaries in a relationship can wreak havoc. 

Toward that end, I can see why Mindy would ask him for advice. He probably has a ton of insight on what's considered a "turn-off" in the male mind. With that said, Mindy should be discerning when it comes to acting on the advice he gives her. This isn't because he's John Mayer -- it's because he's a guy!

Here's an example. One of my best guy friends was lecturing me once on playing hard-to-get with men. Of course, I laughed it off. He said, "I like when a woman approaches me first. I like knowing she's interested." I responded with my usual, "Sure you do! All men do! There's a higher probability he'll have sex with a woman if she's doing the work. If he's doing the work, who knows how it'll end up." He argued the point unsuccessfully because at every turn I had proof of otherwise.

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We started talking about his love life and turns out he was in a huff about his girlfriend. I asked him why and it was because she hadn't introduced him to her friends or parents, she cancelled a Saturday night date where they weren't going to be alone because he wanted to take her to a party, and otherwise didn't put her life on hold for him.

I gleefully pointed out, "See, you like the hard-to-get girl!" I explained it from my perspective as a dating coach who tells women to act mysterious with men because they see results. Once I was finished, he was dumbfounded. I said, "I'll bet you marry her." Last July, he did. 

The moral of the story is be discerning when it comes to asking men advice on relationships. I've been taught to place less emphasis on what men say and more on what they do. No matter what, though, don't let your guy friends talk you out of playing hard-to-get. Always look at who they're dating. Chances are the girl he's really into is the one he's not so sure about.

Until next time...

Shine like Platinum!

Vanessa

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