Kristen Stewart Surfaces Wearing Robert Pattinson Shirt…Is Out-of-Sight, Out-of-Mind the Best Policy with an Ex?

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In just about every post I write, I offer advice from what I’ve learned as a dating coach. More often than not, I emphasize there is a right versus wrong way to approach a relationship with a man. There are certain things about which I am adamant, e.g. not getting back together with an ex who dumped you, and others where I simply lend insight into what has worked for clients and me.

Holding on to an ex-boyfriend’s mementos is one of these instances where I just want to share my thoughts on what’s worked for me. Kristen Stewart surfaced last night at Los Angeles airport on her way to Toronto. She was spotted wearing Robert Pattinson's t-shirt and a gold ring he recently gave her. A couple of weeks ago, she also stepped out in his backpack and hat.

So, is she unable to let go of things that reminder her of him or trying to demonstrate undying devotion? I’m not sure which it is, but don't think her choice to wear his clothing and accessories is accidental. With that said, I had a couple of thoughts on both scenarios.

In the event she’s addicted to the memories that come with wearing his things, it might help her cope if she retired them. Following a break-up, I immediately institute an “out-of-sight, out-of-mind” policy. I neatly pack away all of his stuff and bury it in a closet. 

Anything that I can find of his and remove I do. This includes emails and anything on my phone. Instead of listening to love songs, I catch-up on any audio books I have been meaning to get to. I wrap myself into a cocoon in a world where he just does not exist. I develop a completely new routine that doesn't include him.

This might sound cold. Yet, the reason I take these steps is because the fewer reminders I have around, the less likely I am to break and contact him. True, ridding yourself of keepsakes can’t stop you from thinking about a man. But, whatever I can do to minimize these thoughts always helps me with the grieving process.

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Some might argue that my way of handling a break-up isn’t dealing with it head-on. I don't believe this. But, even if it takes me a bit longer to work through the emotional fallout, I keep my professional life together. Doing it my way is a sacrifice I’m willing to make. I’ll be darned if a man will ever hurt my career. If I cry myself to sleep that’s one thing. Crying at work is another and I do my best to make sure that doesn’t happen.

Now, in the event Kristen’s wearing Rob’s clothing as a means to show her ongoing commitment, I don’t think she owes him that. He already let it be known it’s over (at least for the time being). According to reports, she’s apologized profusely and implored him to give their relationship another chance. She's also been in hiding for well over a month. The situation is out of her control. What’s done is done. There’s no sense in punishing herself anymore. I don’t think she should continue groveling.

As mentioned, I know everyone grieves the end of a relationship in their own way and pace. I offered the advice and what’s helped me because I can't stand being sad or anything less than bubbly and fun. If your way of grieving isn’t working, try “out-of-sight, out-of-mind” and see if you feel any better.

Tell me what you think! Why’s Kristen wearing Rob’s clothes still? How do you handle your ex’s stuff after a break-up?

Until next time…

Shine like Platinum!

Vanessa

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