If you can, go to therapy. The reason I mention it is because a story broke today that Kristen Stewart has started going to counseling since her break-up with Robert Pattinson. Apparently, she was crying so uncontrollably that she neared a mental breakdown. Obviously, who knows whether she's really in therapy? If this whole things isn't a publicity stunt, I think it'd be understandable if Kristen saw a mental health professional.
When it comes to break-ups, you acknowledge therapy can help but can't bring yourself to book an appointment. There might be a few reasons you're hesitant to go. First, it's hard to accept that you need help. I know this first hand. After my mother passed, I was determined to endure my grief with a stiff upper lip and just plow through life. But, it started hitting me in weird little ways and not too long there after, I ended up in grief counseling.
Putting pride aside and accepting help can be difficult if you think there's a "she's crazy" stigma attached to it. This isn't true. If you'd normally ask someone for advice in a situation, you're obviously open to other opinions. Asking a friend for help doesn't make you crazy. Thus, neither does going to a therapist.
Finally, maybe you don't want to face yourself. This is completely normal. Most women who contact me after a break-up have a feeling of, "I drove him away. If I had done this or that, he'd still be here." Maybe it's true and maybe not. If you really think it was your fault, though, going to therapy helps ensure you don't make the same mistakes with another man.
Never underestimate how nice it is to have a trained mental health professional listen to just you. A therapist is objective whereas your closest friends aren't. If you want to go back to a man who didn't treat you well, a friend might support your decision not wanting to rock the boat. A therapist will ask, "Why are you contemplating going back into a relationship where you weren't happy? Are you addicted to pain?" The questions are tough, but worth it if you have breakthroughs.
If happiness is a choice, then so too is sadness. The word "choice" carries with it a responsibility, i.e. it's up to you. For better and worse, your emotional well-being can be within your control.
Until next time...
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