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| Credit: PRPhotos.com |
A
report surfaced today that Jennifer Lopez’s relationship with Casper
Smart might be cooling off. I’m not surprised to hear this given the
recent hullabaloo surrounding Casper at the peep/massage/adult store and
the resultant questions about his sexuality. Particularly given he didn't come out of the store with any
bags indicating that he bought birthday gifts for Jen.
Now,
Jennifer’s being described as frustrated with him and short-tempered
when he’s around. It sounds, though, like the tour is still on as
planned. Further, a source says that Jennifer doesn’t like being
alone so he’ll be around until she finds someone else.
While
the quote came from a source, it’s not a comment we wouldn’t
necessarily believe simply because it didn’t come from Jennifer. I’ve never faulted her for wanting to date and be in a
relationship. But, why would she stay with someone
who doesn't make her happy anymore? In other words, why is she so afraid
of being alone?
This
is something I don’t understand about people, women especially. I’m not
sure why being single is so devastating. The one conclusion I’ve
reached is that people who are afraid of being alone, on some level,
have a fair amount of self-loathing going on.
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| Credit: PRPhotos.com |
I’m
not criticizing people who want relationships. We’re social creatures
(most of us, at least) so desiring romance is perfectly fine. Women who don’t leave a relationship that makes them unhappy is what I'm addressing here. In fact, I
understand a person who stays hoping it will be better some day more so
than the person who is so unhappy but can’t leave because they fear
being alone.
They say not to leave a job unless another is lined up and so too with a relationship. I’m not sure why this comparison is made
because it’s apples to oranges. In one scenario, you need a job so you
can pay your bills and put food on the table. In the other, you might
not have a date for the next work or family function. It’s lonely, but
it’s not debilitating unless you allow it. Don’t let it conquer you.
On
that note, I want to issue a challenge to women (and men if so
inclined) who are afraid of being alone to leave their unhappy
relationships. Look at it as the time where you need to find out who you
are outside of a relationship and learn to stand on your own two feet.
Do you really want to admit to yourself that you’re so dependent on
another man that you’ll stay because you’re afraid of facing…well…you?
Once
you become single, keep a journal. Chronicle your feelings from Day 1.
On a weekly basis, go back and reread through everything you’ve written.
You’ll be amazed at the strength you can gain doing this. What will
happen is that after reviewing where you were a week ago, you’ll think
“wow, I feel so much better now.” This will motivate you to keep going
and not look back.
Life
is short. Of all the horrors in this world that truly exist, being
without a date should not be one of them. Do not be your own enemy.
What advice would you give Jennifer? What have you done to combat fears of being alone?
Until next time…
Shine like Platinum!
Vanessa
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| Credit: PRPhotos.com |
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