Chelsea Handler Makes Her Career Top Priority – Why It’s Not Always a Good Idea to Let a Man Know This

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I read a great article about Chelsea Handler featured in the September issue of Marie Claire @Work. The writer, Yael Kohen, did a fantastic job on the interview. I highly recommend that women read it because Chelsea’s background and rise to the top is discussed. Very smart business lady, she is!

She also said something that caught my attention. When asked about her hotelier Andre Balazs, Chelsea answered, “I’m definitely worried about maintaining my relevance and not wanting to go too far out of bounds to accommodate someone else.” This got me thinking.

Let’s start with “definitely worried about maintaining my relevance.” It seems that Chelsea wants to convey her career is more important than a boyfriend right now. If anyone disagrees, let me know. Maybe I read it wrong.

Either way, she's not alone. A lot of women will send this message to men. I tend to think they do so to let him know she is not needy and capable of living independently of him. Kind of like, "I have things to do, too, pal."

But, must it be said? Telling a man he’ll play second fiddle to your career is something he might not appreciate hearing. Were a man to say this to a woman, she wouldn’t like it either. At a minimum, it says "there will always be something more important than you."

Understand I’m not telling women to make men their first priority or sacrifice their careers. This is especially true if he isn't your husband. As a dating coach, I encourage my clients to stay balanced and recommend they spend time with their boyfriends no more than a couple of times a week. There’s no need to remind him, though, that your career will always come before him. You can send this message through your actions if needed. Verbalizing it is unnecessary.

What I did like about what Chelsea said is that she doesn’t want to “go too far out of bounds to accommodate someone else.” I wholeheartedly agree with this because a person risks being taken advantage of. Even if this doesn’t happen, they’ll feel remiss about the time wasted on a relationship that didn’t pan out. Again, balance. 

Tell me what you think! Have you ever let a man know that your career is first priority?

Until next time...

Shine like Platinum!
Vanessa

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