Johnny Depp, Vanessa Paradis Had Serious Fights -- How Do You Handle Venting in a Relationship?

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Most people who come across a couple who've been married for a long time inevitably ask, "What's your secret?" They'll usually say, "Don't go to bed angry." Another is "Marry your best friend." Or, "don't marry the person you can live with. Marry the person you can't live without." Each answer elicits an "awww." But, they don't speak to the feelings of resentment and sometimes, gulp, hatred, people feel towards their partner - married or not!
 
Take Johnny Depp, 49, and Vanessa Paradis, 39. According to a story that broke today, they fought a lot before their split. The report went on to say that Vanessa resented Johnny's continuing success and felt she put aside her singing aspirations for him. She couldn't stand when he was working and thought he was a slob when home. Feeling like nothing he did was good enough, Johnny hit the bottle. Until one day she said it was over.

This isn't uncommon. While women fear men leaving them quite a bit, surprisingly, more women than men file for divorce. One divorce attorney who cites the National Center for Health Statistics says it's by a whopping 2/3! I checked around and almost every internet source supports this.

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So, what's a woman to do?

If you're almost engaged, engaged, or married (or living together like you are), The Rules for Marriage is a fantastic book. The best part about it (to me, at least) is that Ellen and Sherrie acknowledge women's frustrations. They both know it can take lots of effort for a great marriage. Because of their acknowledgment, I've clung to this book when my relationships have become serious. If you want to work on it, they offer many useful pointers.

My favorite piece of advice, though, is to vent to your friends, not him. This is a tough one for almost every woman I know, myself included. Since my need to complain won't go away, I engage my friends. We have sessions specifically designed to openly speak our minds. We know the day-to-day issues with men are nothing serious. As such, none of us say to leave. We collectively roll our eyes and move on.

I've noticed there are a lot of anonymous frustrated housewives on Twitter. They come up with cute handles. One example that made me laugh is "Real Housewife of Kentucky." The primary purpose of these accounts is to vent their craziness about husbands, children, or my favorite, the in-laws. 

If you aren't familiar with The Rules, you might think this is terrible and feel open communication is key. While definitely true for important issues, the "he left his socks on the floor again!" argument can only happen so many times. Twitter accounts are brilliant for when you can’t get to your friends fast enough. It's easy to grab your cell and tweet. 

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I wonder if Vanessa had girlfriends who she could vent to about Johnny. Some very wealthy women have few close friends. Or, maybe she wanted to talk to other women but they shut her. Maybe they thought she shouldn't complain because of all of Johnny's money. Then again, maybe she kept it all to herself and only unleashed on him.

No one said relationships and marriage are easy. I can’t even honestly say they’re worth it for everyone. If you want one, though, finding little ways to vent frustrations will take you pretty far. If it makes your relationship last, who cares you complain to friends? Or on Twitter? We all do what we must to get by.

Tell me what you think! How do you handle venting about your guy? 

Until next time…

Shine like Platinum!
Vanessa

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