Monday, July 30, 2012

Adrienne Maloof and Paul Nassif Splitting – Why Other Couple’s Problems Shouldn’t Concern a Woman

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I wonder what’s in the stars that's making couple's split. The news broke today that Real Houswives of Beverly Hills Adrienne Maloof and husband Paul Nassif are over. He plans on filing for legal separation this week.

What caught my eye, though, is how their relationship is known for its “good-natured” bickering. It was almost as if people were caught off guard and surprised at the announcement. I haven’t watched the show and can’t say whether I agree.

However, I do know that when a couple divorces or breaks-up, women have a tendency to become nervous about their love lives. They wonder if their marriage or relationship is next. They worry about theirs being strong enough to weather the storms. But is it a valid fear?

In order to identify whether it’s worth concern, a woman will ask her husband or boyfriend if everything is ok between them. She wants to know if he has any concerns or ever thinks they’ll part ways like the other couple is. Often times, she wants the reassurance that he’s still happy being with her.

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My clients and friends who have these conversations with their men tell me that they don’t generally go well. More often than not, the man is happy. He’s surprised she feels insecure. What makes this such a prickly discussion is that the man thinks she’s doubting his feelings and isn’t doing enough to make her feel loved.

This isn’t what women intend to happen, yet, it does. Questioning a man about the strength of your bond can frustrate him. A woman should try her best to refrain from having these discussions even if everyone else’s relationship around her is crumbling.

A man likes knowing his woman is happy. He doesn’t want to worry that each couple who divorces or splits will require a heart-to-heart talk with his wife or girlfriend to calm her fears. Reassuring her that “all is ok” can be tiresome. It’s needy and can make a woman seem like she’s lacking in confidence.

It’s better to come across as secure in your relationship and marriage than like you’re wringing a kerchief about its future. Assume all is well or talk to a friend or therapist about your doubts. Trust that when and if he has a problem that he’ll tell you.

Tell me what you think! Is it a good idea to approach your husband or boyfriend about whether your relationship is ok in light of other couples problems?

Until next time…

Shine like Platinum!
Vanessa


Credit: PRPhotos.com
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