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| Credit: PRPhotos.com |
A cute story that caught my eye was an article I read on Friday about what happened during Julianne's interview on Ryan's KIIS-FM radio show. He had her on as a guest to promote her new movie Rock of Ages. After discussing the movie and making jokes about their relationship, Ryan said, "I'm very proud of you. Go see Julianne in the movie. Thanks, darling." Julianne replied, "Alright. I love you. Bye."
The newsworthiness here isn't about what Ryan said next. More so, it's what he didn't say. Most girlfriend's would've expected an "I love you" return from their guy. Ryan didn't answer with as much. He simply said, "Bye."
So, what does this have to do with dating?
Had a situation like this happened to my clients, they would've booked an emergency session with me. Because they follow The Rules, they want to ensure close alignment with its principles. Generally speaking, these include ending phone calls and dates first with men and letting them initiate saying "I love you." When it doesn't go as planned, they worry.
Undoubtedly, I'd be asked whether he was losing interest because he didn't express his love for her in return. The concern would be she broke a Rule because she initiated. She'd probably enumerate the times he said, "I love you" first. She will have remembered each exchange saying, "Vanessa, he initiated an "ILY" first at least five times. I've only said it twice. But the second time he didn't say it back. What does that mean? Is he still interested?"
Another example can occur when a man calls to schedule a date. The woman thinks she has ten minutes to chat and isn't breaking Rules so long as she ends the call first. Sometimes, though, the man just wants to make plans and get off the phone. In a sense, he ends the call first. She becomes unseated with worry, again, that she's breaking Rules.
Another example can occur when a man calls to schedule a date. The woman thinks she has ten minutes to chat and isn't breaking Rules so long as she ends the call first. Sometimes, though, the man just wants to make plans and get off the phone. In a sense, he ends the call first. She becomes unseated with worry, again, that she's breaking Rules.
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| Credit: PRPhotos.com |
The same is true with Ryan and Julianne. I highly doubt there is anything wrong with their relationship. At all. I think Ryan was in the zone and focused on the interview. He bestowed lovely compliments on her acting and said he was proud of her. Julianne is also very secure and most likely laughed it off.
Nevertheless, there are women who would stress if this happened to them. This is why I recommend they do their best to watch out for scenarios like this. Using "less is definitely more" will help them sidestep these little emotional landmines. When a woman doesn't say "I love you" all too often with a man, he'll be that much more likely to say it back when she does.
Aside from increasing her chances of the "I love you" return, she won't be anxious about the state of her relationship. She won't need to book emergency sessions and be on pins and needles. It will also keep her from making a a further un-Rules-y move like calling him and asking, "Is everything ok with us?" Being strong and confident will carry her through the relationship and to the altar, should she so desire.
Take the poll or tell me what you think! Do you worry when your boyfriend doesn't reciprocate?
Until next time...
Shine like Platinum!
Vanessa
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| Credit: PRPhotos.com |
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