What I liked most about Jennifer's views on gender pay inequality in her recently penned essay, "Why Do I Make Less Than My Male Co-Stars?" is the manner in which she took responsibility. Appearing in the Oct. 13 edition of Lenny, Lena Dunham's feminist newsletter, Jennifer writes:
When the Sony hack happened and I found out how much less I was being paid than the lucky people with d*cks, I didn't get mad at Sony. I got mad at myself. I failed as a negotiator because I gave up early. I didn't want to keep fighting over millions of dollars that, frankly, due to two franchises, I don't need," she explains.
Absolutely. Loved. This.
Were Jennifer to have been mad at Sony, she would have missed the role she played in not negotiating better. Sony was under no obligation to "do right" by Jennifer and pay her more simply because her male counterparts were. She can't count on that. The reality is that no one looks out for you like you look out for you.
And neither can a woman when it comes to a man.
This is not to sound embittered in the slightest. I write this blog because Platinum Girls love men and the joy they can bring to our lives. I want my readers to have happy and healthy relationships and stay out of the sick world of dysfunction.
With that said, a single woman will invariably meet a bad egg along the broken road to her Mr. Handsome. It's unavoidable and makes her stronger. But that doesn't mean she should stay and accept being treated badly.
A lot of women complain about how their boyfriends or husbands treat them. I'm not talking about the usual, "Can you believe he didn't take out the trash?" nonsense. I mean the man who blows you off or is physically and emotionally abusive -- essentially the type who just hurts you.
This latter group of men aren't nice enough to leave because they know that they have little victims wrapped around their collective fingers. You know him when you see him because he makes you feel badly more than he makes you feel good. This is why it's up to the woman to take a stand.
The "I can't be alone" woman will succumb to loneliness and end up with a bad egg of a man because she's more terrified of a Friday alone. That's silly. What's worse is that a not-so-nice man can spot her from a mile away.
The negative experiences that you can have with a man of this sort will be much worse than your phone not lighting up with his text. These toxic relationships can be hell in the hallway that go on for years, all the while wreaking havoc on your self-esteem.
Like Jennifer, it's up to women to negotiate better relationships for themselves -- not just with men, but across the board. If you aren't being treated well, ask yourself whether it's because you're failing to ask for better.
In this life, there is no falling asleep at the wheel. It's either a good man or no man. If it's no man, you work on yourself until the good man comes along.
Until next time...
Shine like Platinum!